Ah, Libertarians! You can’t live with them and you can’t shoot ‘em, to reuse the old saw. Not the least reason is that they are generally better armed than me. But, really.

On this day of American Independence, July 4th, I had a particularly smug Lib type wish me a ‘happy freedom day’. Which got me thinking about the usually problem with Libs – freedom means responsibility, chaps. You don’t get that at all.

I determined many years ago that Libertarianism is a religion, not a political stripe. This is because it has a complete, self-reenforcing, fantasy universe. They cling dogmatically to, ironically, Darwinism. Unfortunately, I have another name for it – abdication of responsibility. This is because Darwinian Evolution is completely outcome neutral. It doesn’t care what lives or what dies. Just like Ol’ Man River it just keeps rolling along. Which is why a society which claims to be ‘true Libertarian’ is either full of hypocrites, nihilists or dogmatic believers. It simply can’t be true. Or, if it is, it isn’t a society. A society is a group who agree to band together for a common good. This involves sacrifice on everyone’s own part. Libs only believe in sacrificing others. The classic Lib notion is that good fences make good neighbors, and they have the right to shoot anyone who broaches the wall. I haven’t heard of a Libertarian who volunteers to shoot themselves in the head if they accidentally stray into someone else’s yard. Fair would be fair, after all. So, it’s a façade, as Lenny Bruce says.

I rather hoped, looking at the red state-blue state issues, that we were in some haven of relative blue state sanity in Colorado. Nope. I forgot about the Libs. Here we still live in the Land of the Gun. Government of the fittest, for the fittest and by the fittest. I’d almost go back to Dixie. Well, not really, but at least the southern society was a society. It was evil and perverse, but it was a society. It was organized on a consistent, common principle and was maintained by the group. But, fighting the Libs is like punching a sneeze. Just like a good sneeze, their philosophy evaporates in the air with handwaving. And, just like a sneeze, I hope it isn’t catching.

It’s not a conversion. It’s an upgrade.

I had the most curious experience yesterday. A friend and fellow employee tried to convert me to Christianity. Of course, my angry young man days are over. Back in the day, I would have called him out, like I used to do Brother Jed and Sister Cindy the Disco Queen (there’s your Google search for the day). I didn’t. But, I did have to note the soft sell pitch that modern Christianity has adopted.Me: “Well, I’m an atheist, but my family was Jewish. My brother and I have discussed getting back in the faith.”Him: “Before you do that, look into Christianity. It has many of the same underpinnings as Judaism…”Me: (thinking): “Huh, same underpinnings …”So, evidently Christianity is sort of marketed as Judaism Lite with the same feature set but perhaps fewer bugs. I guess conversion by the sword is out. Now it’s just a race to gain market share. Now this gentleman was peddling the Lutheran brand Christianity so I can’t fault him, but the Catholic brand is sagging due to failure of their spokesman, John Paul II, to market to the women’s segment.New marketing plan time, or just wait for Christianity 2.0.

Kansas led into the wilderness. Jehovah says take 2 tablets...

After being absent from human affairs for some years (perhaps involved in some serious sparring with Allah over this Iraq mess), God got his mojo working again this spring by divinely inspiring the Kansas school board to teach His word - Creationism (or Intelligent Design, as the latest incarnation is ironically called). His word is called pseudoscience by the unfaithful, but that is merely a detail."Don't be so cynical, Guy", you say.And, I suppose you're right. God's plans remain pretzel twisted as always. Maybe Kansas is really supposed to be a place of simple, blissful, heedless ignorance, like Utah. Kansas don't need to think, says God. Now, I can see God's point. Kansas is, after all, mind-numbingly boring. So, work your magic with Kansas, God. I guess I can be convinced. Try out your divine plan on the Kansas School Board. If it works, all power to ya (a tautology really, he is omniscient and omnipotent after all).But, wait, can the hand of man be discerned in all this divine logic? Probably. For instance, does it make sense that Mr Way-Truth-and-Light is only revealing his presence by leaving tiny mysteries in the evolutionary record? Is God really trying to persuade the unbeliever by relying on some weasely argument about how evolution is really a red herring? What happened to the old God? My way or the highway (to hell)? If that God wanted us to believe, I bet he doesn't fart around with waiting for the Kansas school board to get through holding hearings. I think a burning bush or parted sea or two might get His message through our thick heads.The real answer is, of course, that God doesn't need a state curriculum or a state legislature to work his will. Only politicians would try to split hairs about what is belief and what is science - human politicians trying to get reelected. I suppose Kansas gets what it deserves if it votes the Creationists ... oops ... the Intelligent Designers into the Kansas School Curriculum. Every state should have the right to misgovern itself. Isn't that what the Cons say? Let's just hope that it stays there. Colorado higher education has enough problems without Luddite anti-intellectualism. Well, except for Colorado Springs ...

Act like you've been there before!

We all know that politicians love sports metaphors. So, here's one for the Republican Senate.The phrase comes from football when our local heroes are fond of celebrating in the endzone like it's the only time they ever scored a touchdown or ever hope to. Or at least that's how it comes across. Coaches say: "act like you've been there before". In other words, instead of dancing the funky chicken, or forming a human pyramid, or whatever, just put the damn ball down and move on.So, who is inclined to excessive celebration? In football terms, it's either some lucky 330 pound bastard with a number in the 60s or 70s who looked up and saw the ball plop into their giant mitts and really never will get to the 'house' again (ok, give them their moment. It'll pass) or it's some yokel who should count themselves lucky that Eastern West Dakota Tech had a football program, much less being overpaid to tote the rock on national TV.So, Republicans, act like you've been there before.The Cons control the House, the Senate, the Presidency and everything else that isn't tied down, but they are acting like this is the only time they have ever been in control of government and think it will be the last.How else do you explain the fact that instead of doing the people's business: fixing the deficit (that they broke) and making our roads, schools and commerce better, they decide to spend their 'P'litical Cap'tal' on gutting Social Security, giving away tax money to rich bastards and changing the Filibuster rule?Seems like they think they should grab all the glory they can before they get tossed out on their asses. Guilty consciences, or just realistic? I hope it's just realistic.So, enjoy your 30 seconds of fame, Cons. We'll be back shortly after this beer commercial.